two yellow flowers surrounded by rocks
Procrastination

Life

Isn’t life a funny thing? It’s forever changing whether we feel it or not. Time is forever moving and passing us by. Even though it didn’t really feel like it when we were younger. Time would move so slowly to us, we would just wish for our birthdays to come around the corner. Ironically, now that we are older, time flies by so fast that we wish we could just rewind the clock, to days when we were young and free. Dreading our birthdays as they grow closer.

When this transition actually occurs is a mystery but at each stage we deny the present. We avoid living in the moment, focused on something that’s beyond our control. This lack of control costs us our life.

We get so focus on what we don’t have, what we can’t do, that we no longer see a way out. Any clarity leaves our mind and we are flooded with negativity and confusion. When we are unhappy with how things currently are and focus only on all the aspects of our life that we have no control over, it only drains our power.

When we see no way out our mind goes into full panic mode. Quickly overwhelmed with feelings of stress, anxiety, uncertainty and instead of acting on life, life acts on us as we look for a form of escape.

Procrastination

I have been using procrastination as a form of escape for as long as I can remember. We procrastinate for a variety for reasons, such as a fear of failure, our fear of the unknown, a lack of clarity.

Ironically, when we procrastinate to escape from our negative thoughts and emotions we are actually adding fuel to the fire. The negative thoughts that flood our minds, such as I can’t do it, begins to become somewhat valid as we are not doing what we need to do. This only causes us to feel more like crap about ourselves and fall deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole.

Overtime procrastination simply turns into neglect. Our mind gets used to this negative sensation and we don’t even bother trying anymore. We neglect even doing the smallest tasks, such as making our bed, getting ready, tidying our room. A life of neglect is not a fun way to live. It’s a life of pain, disappointment and self resentment.

Each year I would write down goals, each day I would write down tasks which would never get crossed of but forgotten.

Just like any year I thought this year would be different. I collated a list of a variety of tasks that I said I would do over the years, but never did. Its a mixture of small, simple task to give me motivation for my bigger goals.

However, the motivation quickly faded, I lost control & that list has been left untouched at the side of my table with the end of the year quickly approaching.

The spark formed at every new year quickly fades as life starts to happen, you get lost in the passage of time & lose control of our thoughts and emotions.

My List

This long list is just a snippet of all the things I have neglected in my life. What was meant to make me feel good about myself, now makes me feel like crap each time I see it. This feeling won’t go away until I do something about it. I will work on myself to stop the procrastination, the neglect and start taking action. What better place to start then this list that has been gathering dust for the last 9 months?

I will take control of my life. Place my focus on what I can control. I have the power to change my thoughts, my emotions & my actions. When life gets on top of us, we have the power to stop, take a minute. Check in with how we are feeling, ask ourselves the right questions and take action to create what we want to feel. Lets come back to present.

When we flip it around and look at what we can control, life falls into our hands. We just have to take the time to look into ourselves.

Procrastination occurs when we lose control of our emotions. Luckily that’s something we have control off. Time to actually make this list an achievement list and feel good about myself.

Let’s gooooo!!!

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