Help with Reception. Approach strangers.
Every socially awkward person struggles with this. They talk themselves out before they get the chance to take action. Questions that lead to negative outcomes in your mind go on a rampage until you give in and miss the given opportunity.
Every time I see someone approach reception, I freeze. Is there anyone else here? Would I be of help? What if I don’t know the answer to their query? Would they think I’m stupid? These thought run through my head and I act as if I’m not there, only to feel disappointed in myself when someone else comes to the rescue as deep down I truly wanted to help but let fear get in the way.
Need to belong
Why do we have this fear? We are social beings so shouldn’t we all have social skills? This is due to our inherent need to belong and our interpretation/value around it. Our need to belong has been with us through our evolution and helped us with our survival. It is the fundament desire within us to be connected, valued and truly accepted by others. This need greatly impacts our mood and behaviour.
So if we have this social need that thrives on social interactions why do we fear it? It all comes down to the fear of rejection. When we value the validation and acceptance of others to much we greatly fear the possibility of not receiving. It is our fear that prevents us from putting ourselves out there and having a chance to fulfil our need. Isn’t it ironic? We see this need as a key to our survival but stop ourselves from taking the required actions to fulfil it. It’s funny how we think by not acting we are saving ourselves from rejection when we are actually rejecting ourselves. We are the one’s eliminating whatever chance we had to fulfill our need to belong.
Action step
It is time to take the step. I decided for the next person who walked in I would be the person to help them. I told myself I have seen how others have handled different scenarios and if I don’t know the answer I could always ask. That’s exactly what I did. Some interactions we quick and easy while some were a bit daunting as I lacked the knowledge to their question, this didn’t stop me from finding someone who did.
Only by doing it the more I released that this fear was irrelevant, it was like a weight left my shoulders.
